Kenny Dalglish Was In My Dream

| April 7, 2019 | Reply

Welcome to Elite Dreams.

A new business venture where I, the Elite Metropolitan, charge people a cheeky amount of money to tell them what their dreams mean.

For just £1,200 (plus VAT) I will send you a series of non-falsifiable statements smothered in thoroughly undeserved scientific language. Very much in the tradition of people who tell you who you were in a previous life. Or most management consultants.

My first customer is none other than gambling intellectual, bon viveur and editor of the Betting Rant, Matt Houghton.

Writes Matt:

“I had a dream last night that I cut myself badly on a load of barbed wire and I was pulled free and patched up by Jeremy Corbyn, Kenny Dalglish and Robbie Fowler. What does it mean?!!!”

Thanks Matt.

I shall now begin my process. First up, I Google ‘barbed wire in dreams’.
A dream about barbed wire is an omen of entrapped feelings in your life.
Oh dear, Matt.

If you see barbed wire in your dream and it is oppressive or harmful, it means that it is time to let go of whatever makes you feel trapped in your waking life.

Is it ever not time to do that?

“Steve, I’ve decided to let go of something that’s making me feel trapped.”

“Woah, there, are you sure it’s the right time for that?”

I guess maybe there are good and bad times for such things. Say, if it’s a job that’s making you feel trapped, but there’s a recession on.

“Darling, I know there’s a recession on and it’s the worst possible time to quit my job, but it’s making me feel trapped in my waking life.”

“Just tell me one thing. Have you dreamed about barbed wire?”

Fortunately for Matt Houghton, here at Elite Dreams we go beyond the first Google result. Let’s see what else we have.

To dream of barbed wire represents difficulty in breaking through or getting a point across to someone. It may also reflect feelings about a situation intentionally being made too difficult or off-limits.

So it sounds like Matt is struggling with one of three different vague things.

It’s either something that’s making him feel trapped, or he’s having difficulty breaking through in some way, or he’s in a situation where something is too difficult or off-limits.

We’re getting somewhere.

Let’s turn to the other clues.

What connects Jeremy Corbyn, Kenny Dalglish and Robbie Fowler?

To the best of my knowledge, Corbyn has never played for Liverpool, so that rules that out as a connection.

Nor has Corbyn done Prime Minister’s Questions while wearing a Breathe Right nasal strip, which nixes a possible connection with Fowler.

This is tricky, and perhaps you’re beginning to see why I charge handsomely for these interpretations.

To be honest, I was on the verge of giving up, when it suddenly hit me.
All three are men whose fans put them on pedestals.

Liverpool fans call Dalglish and Fowler King Kenny and God respectively. Corbyn fans revere a tetchy bloke who can’t give a straight answer on the biggest question facing Parliament.

Where men put men on pedestals, hope burns bright… until it is cruelly extinguished.

Corbyn fought a better election in 2017 than many people expected. He closed the gap, doing better than his predecessor, the man the press dubbed ‘Red Ed’.

Crucially, though, he didn’t win.

What of that other ‘red team’, Liverpool FC?

Kenny Dalglish was the last Liverpool manager to win the league.

Robbie Fowler, who emerged a few years after that 1990 triumph, gave fans such hope they called him God, after the supreme being who provides hope to billions but may well not exist.

Yet despite his exploits, Fowler’s neck remains unburdened by a Premier League winner’s medal.

So what should we make of that barbed wire in Matt’s dream?

Difficulty breaking through…

Something that’s too difficult, or off-limits…

I am ready to reveal the meaning of Matt’s dream.

It is this…

Man City are going to win the league.

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Category: Betting Opinion

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