The Elite Metropolitan

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From The Hot Desk Of…

| April 12, 2019 | Reply

I am soon to join the ranks of the hot deskers. A nomad with a laptop.

Kenny Dalglish Was In My Dream

| April 7, 2019 | Reply

Welcome to Elite Dreams. A new venture where I charge a cheeky amount of money to explain what dreams mean.

My Terrible Sitcom Idea

| April 7, 2019 | Reply

Idea for a sitcom: Will of the People.

Putting My Laces Through The Football Of Capitalism

| April 7, 2019 | Reply

What does The Elite Metropolitan do all day?

Footballers’ Brothers

| April 7, 2019 | Reply

If two things can be called a trend then there’s a definite trend towards footballers’ brothers cashing in on the fame of their siblings.

Trevor Benjamin And The Machine That Destroys Humans

| March 7, 2019 | Reply

The ultimate journeyman footballer. Killer robots. Racing profits. It’s a tale as old as time.

“…Then Punched **** Out Of It For No Reason”

| February 14, 2019 | Reply

Discover the best phrase you’ve heard in ages!

A Good Walk-To-Talk Ratio

| January 28, 2019 | Reply

My proudest achievement is also one of the most petty and small minded.

Brexit Bets, Brexit Boxes, Brexit Billions

| January 18, 2019 | Reply

Ah, Brexit. Everyone’s favourite topic.

Greggs. Conrete. Radar. Tips.

| January 11, 2019 | Reply

OK, I’m calling it… The Greggs Vegan Sausage Roll doesn’t exist.

My Personal “Scientific Gambling” Story

| January 11, 2019 | Reply

Once upon a time, a friend and I embarked on a sports betting project.

I’m Drunk

| December 14, 2018 | Reply

This morning I had to do a personality test at work while hungover.

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